You Can Do It - An Ode to the Affirmation Bitches

Oh, sweet affirmation cards, how we adore your relentless optimism! Those little rectangles of hope, sitting pretty on bedside tables across the land, whispering sweet encouragement to the chronically self-doubting masses.

But let's be honest, most of you are absolute shit.

There you are, spouting your "Live, Laugh, Love" nonsense and your "Good Vibes Only" bollocks, as if real life doesn't involve crying into your cereal on a Tuesday morning. You've been mass-produced by wellness warriors who think depression can be cured with a sunrise photo and some Comic Sans font.

‍A Tribute to Better Affirmations
‍We salute the affirmation cards that tell it like it is. The ones that say "You're doing alright, considering the circumstances" instead of "You're a goddamn unicorn princess."

We bow down to the decks that acknowledge you might be a beautiful disaster who occasionally gets their shit together. The cards that celebrate small victories like remembering to eat lunch or not crying in the supermarket.

Here's to affirmations with backbone - the ones our crew of cynical optimists and cheeky cheerleaders craft with love, swear words, and zero tolerance for toxic positivity.

‍An Ode to Authenticity
‍Sing, oh cards of genuine encouragement! Dance, you rectangles of real talk! You don't promise the moon - you just remind people they're not completely hopeless on the days when everything feels like it's falling apart.

You pack more punch than a life coach on Red Bull, without making anyone want to vom into their green smoothie. You're the mate who tells you the truth with a smile, not the Instagram influencer peddling impossible dreams.

‍The Sacred Ritual of Creation
‍When someone gives us a bell about their custom affirmation cards, magic happens. We listen to their inspirational beans - the real ones, not the ones they think they should have.

Our wisdom wizards work their craft, turning self-doubt into self-belief without the nauseating niceness. Each deck becomes a bespoke belief-builder, customised to kick-arse perfection.

From sweary self-love to sophisticated soul-stirring, we match the vibe without the cringe.

‍A Final Verse
‍So here's to the affirmation cards that actually matter - the ones that make you feel like you could conquer the world, or at least survive until Friday.

Ditch the generic gratitude and basic bitch mantras. Embrace the next-level personal pep talks that are sharper, cheekier, and a whole load more authentic.

Give us a shout about your custom affirmation cards, and let's create some proper motivational mayhem together.Because life's too short for boring self-help, and everyone deserves encouragement that doesn't make them want to throw up.

‍End scene.